Are you getting tired of the same old routine? We all sympathize.

There was once a time when boozing after a long day of class and work was all we could ask of life. Hell, I can remember when talking on the phone  (to girlfriends I had just left at the bus stop) was a perfect way to spend the afternoon.  If I think back even further, all I ever wanted to do with my spare time was put bugs in jars. Eventually, perhaps, my nightly cup-of-coffee-and-a-good-book routine will get old. I strongly believe that when such doldrums begin to weigh you down, you can always count on one backup alternative that will liven your weekend plans: Quit acting your age.

Here’s a guide (if you need one) to spending your day like you’re seven again – or 70.

Act 9 and under: Strip your bed of all sheets, take down your curtains, and find your towels! It’s time to build a fort. Hang towels over your TV and watch a movie while hiding out under your hand-me-down paisley coverlet. Make sure you pack it full of food, unnecessary emergency supplies, and pillows. Too tired to clean it all up? Crash inside the comfort of your own juvenile handiwork.

Act 13: Girls, put on your lip gloss. Boys, shake out your piggy banks.  Hit up the mall for some hella-fun shopping, flirting, and gaming. Take your picture in a photo booth. Blow $10 at the arcade. Eat gross pizza. Argue about the best flavor of Julius. Get somebody’s number. Ask to look at something you couldn’t possibly afford (especially with your crap allowance, OMG). Have a good time being silly, but be home by curfew. Like, seriously.

Act 17: Go Varsity. Find your alma mater (or a school whose colors you like enough to have painted on your face) and buy tickets to the next big game. Excavate from those deep recesses of your memory the slamming insults, the witty jibes, and the acid low-blows we all committed to memory during our days of spirit weeks and state finals. Cheer and boo appropriately. Plan to lose your voice (and some hearing).

Act 21: Cast off your superficial, youthful ways and pursue a life of depth and art. Find a vintage get-up, some smelly hair product, and a flask. Go to the warehouse district to look for a live show. Get coffee at the Vagabond and argue with perfect strangers. Think seriously about changing your sexuality, but settle, instead, on changing locations. Rent a movie you couldn’t possibly understand (because the writers themselves didn’t) and crash at your friends’ place.

Act 29: Ah, the end-of-the-work-week cocktail. Make plans with all of your favorite people from the office to meet at the choicest high-end restaurant. No dinner, just drinks. Order the $12 martini and split a bottle of wine. Then, once buzzing happily, complain. Talk about disappointing sex lives, hard-headed bosses, the five pounds you can’t shake, the old ball and chain, etc. Get everything off of your chest that you might  not be comfortable talking about on the clock. It may sound awful at first, but it usually ends up being hilarious and uplifting. (Oh, and please have a designated driver on call.)

Act 35: Experiment. Everyone says that you do enough of this during adolescence, but I never, ever saw 17-year-olds act as crazy as 30-somethings do. This is the age at which my mother decided to have another child (hello world!), my stepmother decided to design and sew a hundred costumes for the city ballet (she’s a programmer, by the way), my good friend decided to buy a yard full of chickens, my dad decided to move across the country, my grandfather decided to go AWOL, and my great-aunt decided that she would rather DIE than wear anything but white leather and heels. So go do something crazy. Learn to dance the Bachata or make crème brulée. Buy someone a drink and leave the rest to chance. Throw a dart at a map and resolve to go there. (Whew! Udall.)

Act 49: The midlife crisis game.  If you have a significant other, they’ll just have to play along with this one. Shave. Do your hair. Dress like a swank 30-year-old. Then slink into a bar and make a game of making eyes. You don’t feel a year shy of 50 anymore, do you? Oh no. You’ve got a new sports car, a tattoo, and a killer body, and the world is your oyster (if oysters didn’t give you an upset stomach).

Act 57 and over: The kids are out of the house, and you are now free to fulfill your life’s ambition of traveling to state parks in your luxury camper. Okay, so you don’t have a Winnebago Vista. But you have a sedan and a tent, right? As soon as the weather permits, pack up your backseat and set out for a primitive campsite by the lake. Take long, leisurely walks at sunup and be in bed by 9 p.m. Keep hot coffee in a thermos, take pictures of birds, and challenge a companion to a game of checkers or rummy. The number one rule? Don’t exert yourself. The number two rule? Bring antacid for the hot dogs and chili.

People have routines for a reason, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t revert back to our old selves or jump ahead a few decades for an evening of atypical fun. What other shenanigans could you get into on a night when you’ve decided to stop acting your age?

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