We’re almost done with our tutorials, kids, and I hope that my wisdom has helped you expand your options for pursuing libations (and potential lovers). We’ve explored the cougar-laden jungles of the Yuppie Bar (Fox and Hounders, unite!) and the rowdy recesses of the Sports Bar (with excellent timing, if I do say so myself). And now, the pièce de résistance, The Dive Bar.
Do not underestimate these local watering holes. They are safe havens for those desperately in need of a drink, a date, or a discreet …

Last week, I delivered a brief tutorial on the fine art of blending in at The Yuppie Bar, and I hope that some of you used this newfound knowledge to go scam a few high-class hotties. However, if the mate you seek is more of the sports-centered type, have no fear. I’m back to give you all of the hints you need to at least look like you belong in a sports bar, when really, you’re just admiring the players’ uniforms. (Tip #1: Don’t outwardly acknowledge that …

I implore you to find a person less “cool” than me. I’m a mom. I’m a teacher. I wear slacks and cardigans and argyle socks. But I would be doing myself a disservice if I did not note that under all of my GAP and Banana Republic apparel lies a vodka-seeking chameleon, a former barfly attuned to the necessity of variety in one’s drinking establishments.
There is something to be said for having “your” bar; Norm had Cheers, Ted and Barney have MacLaren’s, and I, in my …

Before we all rush to the theatres to see The Rock’s latest dally into Disneyland as The Toothfairy in 2010, allow me to recap the best to hit the box office in ought-nine. Some of you may notice my neglect of such gems as Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Fired Up, but you should also note that I am no film snob. When questioned, I will not deny that those films are on my Netflix queue (again) and that though I can hardly call it one of the …