Four months ago, I began my journey into the world of online dating. Match.com was my trusty steed. A healthy dose of skepticism was my armor. And, despite all odds, my destination was happiness in the form of a relationship. Despite the makings of a truly epic adventure, how it actually unfolded was awkward, comical and, ultimately, unexpected.

First of all, the thought of becoming a crazy cat lady had never really scared me. I joined babynames.com to keep track of what I’d name my dozen or so cats – Chewbacca Jones, Mittens McGee and Tyrannosaurus Rex. At 24, I’d already resigned myself to spinsterhood surrounded by a hoard of felines that very well may begin to devour me in the event of my untimely death or even a particularly heavy sleep. Sure, it’s not a glamorous life. But it’d be my life.

But then my biological clock hit me like it was Zsa-Zsa Gabor: I missed that relationship feeling. The cuddling and canoodling. The comedy and drama. The warm and fuzzy feeling without being literally warm and fuzzy. So I joined a dating site. Surely there’d be someone out there for me.

I started going on dates. Putting myself out there. Rejected. Accepted. Rejecting. Accepting. But nothing really seemed to click. I tried to make the best of the situation in my articles. After all, I’m a naturally awkward person, so when put into an awkward situation – like a mostly blind date – hilarity is bound to ensue. But, as my friends can attest to, it quickly became disheartening.

When I last left you, things were looking up in the romance department. I’d met someone I thought was great. I was happy and excited and ready to plunge into things headfirst, when flashing lights and sirens started to go off.

[FLASHING LIGHTS] He has a tongue ring.

[UNK-UNK-UNK] He thinks Wes Anderson movies are boring.

When he mentioned that he hadn’t been to a museum since elementary school, Admiral Ackbar popped into my head and yelled, “IT’S A TRAP!” Needless to say, I ran away so fast you would’ve thought I was in the French Army. A girl has to have standards.

So I spent my 25th birthday – which also happened to be Valentine’s Day – single. And happy. Because these aren’t just disappointments. They’re deal breakers. You know, those habits or mannerisms or characteristics that you just can’t allow yourself to overlook? Whether it’s putting the toilet paper on the roll the wrong way, not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re,” or liking Nickelback. I know there’s someone out there for me. And I shouldn’t have to give up dinosaurs to find him.

Sometimes there’s a catch that ruins everything. What are your deal breakers? Would you – or have you – break up with someone because of a deal breaker?

Related posts:

1. [date] Meeting My Match: The Third
2. [date] Meeting My Match: Part 1
3. [date] Meeting My Match: Part Deux
4. [date] Meeting My Match: A New Hope
5. [date] Single and Fabulous on Valentine’s Day