A is for Awkward.

Just in case this point isn’t abundantly clear, first dates are awkward. And when you throw me, Queen of the Awkward, into these types of situations? Well, let’s just say no good can come of it. It’s not that I suffer from uncontrollable flatulence or excessive sweating when meeting new people; I just kind of stare at my shoes and wish for the Apocalypse.

Anyway, after a week of exploring Match.com and chatting with a few fine fellows, I decided to take it to the next step – a real, live, face-to-face encounter. YIKES!

My mom has this theory about first dates – treat them like a crime waiting to happen. As she puts it, “Experts always say to never allow your attacker to take you to a second location. Because if he’s going to kill you, that’s where he’ll do it. So with first dates, until you’re sure he won’t dump your body in a shallow grave, it’s best that you stick to meeting in a public place and staying there. Also, don’t let him follow you to your car – he’ll probably hit you over the head with a pipe and stuff you in the trunk.” Now, I take all of my mother’s advice with grain of salt, but, in a sick way, this makes sense (except for that last part – that was a bit crazy). A single-location first date means less stress for both parties and an easy out if he’s giving off the Buffalo Bill vibe.

Since this is technically our first meeting, choosing a date location that allows us to actually talk is a very good thing. Going to a movie together is all very well and fine, but you don’t learn much about your date – apart from whether he pees when he laughs or covers his eyes during scary movies. This is why I’m a big fan of going out for coffee or dessert as a first-date activity. It’s casual. It’s cheap. And affords the opportunity to get to know one another a little better.

I learned that writing down the day and time of your date is kind of an important thing. One fine young man probably thought I was getting a ride on a short bus, because I couldn’t remember whether we were meeting at 7 or 8. So I showed up at 7, just in case. I waited for a while. Realized that I am, in fact, a spaz. Then drove around for the next 45 minutes so my date wouldn’t catch on to my ridiculousness. I tried to play it cool, but I’m pretty sure he was on to me.

I also learned a lesson in wearing appropriate attire. I made the woeful mistake of wearing a low-cut shirt while playing pool. I didn’t even think about it beforehand, but it wasn’t far into our first game that I noticed I was on the verge of indecent exposure. Not exactly the best first impression. Oh, and if it’s cold, wear a coat. This seems like common knowledge, I know. But I figured, “Hey, I’m a strapping young lass. I’m not afraid of a little chill.” As it turns out, spending the next couple of days with a fever and headache kind of disrupts one’s social agenda. I’m sure the “poor shivering girl” look is precious and all, but it’s so not worth it.

All in all, the first week of actual dates wasn’t horrible. Some were great conversation. Some were out of my league. And some were painfully awkward. Even though the sparks were few and far between, it gave me the confidence to just get out there and meet people. You know what, it’s not all that bad. The hermit life just may be overrated.

Related posts:

1. [date] Meeting My Match: Deal Breaker
2. [date] Meeting My Match: Part Deux
3. [date] Meeting My Match: A New Hope
4. [date] Meeting My Match: Part 1
5. [meet] – Ask Verb: What are your favorite date night activities on a budget?