[date] Meeting My Match: Part 1
Let me set the scene: It was a cold, snowy night. I was wrapped in a Snuggie, drinking hot cocoa all alone in my bed, and watching Love, Actually for the billionth time. It was one of my more girly moments. One that I’m not particularly proud of considering the Minimum Awesomeness Level I try to adhere to at any moment.
And then it hit me: Damn, I’m lonely.
I’ll go to a bar. Meet someone. Maybe go on a date. Then realize we have absolutely nothing in common apart from our shared ability to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. It’s disheartening. And frustrating. And you feel like maybe you’re defective because you can’t seem to find someone worthwhile. So, while I was pining away for that dreadfully charming Hugh Grant type, I said, “This is stupid. I’m reasonably attractive. Entertaining. And relatively intelligent. For all intents and purposes, I’m a damned catch.”
So I did something impulsive. I joined a dating site.
At first I went to eHarmony. Checked it out. Thought about joining. Then remembered their damned commercials. The happy couples who finish each other’s sentences and have the personality of a particularly dull brand of vaccuum cleaner. Yeah, no thank you. If I wanted robot, I’d date a Sybian. So I went with Match.com.
After answering a bajillion questions, meticulously writing and editing profile blurbs and uploading a couple pictures, I waited for my profile to be approved. A few days passed and still no word. I thought that, perhaps, it was already live and I really am defective and unlikable. Then I realized that my profile included an f-bomb and apparently that sort of frank language is not tolerated in the world of online dating – which is pretty effed up, if you ask me.
So I edited out my vulgarities and resubmitted my profile. And with that, I’m off. Off on a weird and crazy adventure that I’m hoping leads me down a path of happiness. Or, at the very least, provides some good material to write about. So, if you all will bear with me, I’d like to drag you along on my journey.
Welcome, 2010. Now let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.
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Good Luck Aimee!
Man when you stick your foot in the shit you don’t “eff” around.
Do you realize what a world of insanity and weirdness you have just wandered into….?
Not that I would discourage you, because as a blogger and one who likes to have a whole bunch of life happen to them, online dating is super. It is a rich, rich mine of insecurity, weirdness and sad. (oh, the Sad, is some of the best Sad you have ever seen)
Good luck.
One word of advice, get a recent picture…like a hostage style picture with a newspaper showing a very current date.
You do not want to be in a position to have to build a time machine to go back to when they were cute. Trust me, I’ve been down that road, and there is nothing pretty once you get to the cul de sac….
Michael
Try plentyoffish.com it’s free. After trying many different dating sites, I found a great guy on that one. We’re still together, going on our 2nd year.
Good & bad to the whole online dating….it will be an adventure at the very least.
You’re a brave soul. My online dating experience was a very short lived adventure. I met a few people in person. One ended up being a nice guy with no spark. He was, however, “still married.” She needed the health insurance. Hmmmm….. One guy was a total d bag. I’m talking first person I ever unfriended on myspace d-bag. And I’m very conservative with my defriending. Another guy I dated for a while but started to hyperventilate when he started pushing the “boyfriend/girlfriend” thing. He was a good guy, but we ended up as just friends. But, hey, I got a friend out of it. (I also recommend plentyoffish.com.)
Working in a venue where I see the “public” on computers, I see a lot of people looking at online dating sites and now I look at it in a different light. The guy that looks at them when his wife’s not in with him….. The homeless guy that is delusional….. The man-ho with 5 different baby’s mammas…. All of them checking out your profile, hot stuff.
Hell yeah! Cheers! Get-it-girrrrrl!
Good luck Aimee and I look forward to following your adventures. Oh how I wish I had a blog back during my years, yes years, of online dating. Best advice – make first meeting short and public (coffee, ice cream..oops gotta go) Do the web cam thing so you can see who it is you’re really talking to. There is no excuse for anyone to not have/be willing to get one if they really are interested. Also – think outside the box. Don’t limit yourself by what age/occupation/parental status you think would be your best match. You never know what suprises are in store. Have fun!
I still get death threats from one psycho girl. Online Dating is interesting, and it isn’t for the faint of heart. I feel it isn’t organic enough for me. Then again I am an idealist.
I’d date you :P
Slight problem: I’m in Mexico.
No, seriously you ARE a catch. I can’t wait to read about it in twitter. You’re one of the most fun to read people I follow on there.
Kind of inspiring, Aimee. I’ve been toying with the idea myself. I figure that if worse comes to worst, it’d provide good writing fodder in the end, right?
Good luck to you!
Your blog entry makes me wish I was about 30 years younger.
I recommand you check out Ok Cupid, it’s pretty nice and free.
Tried Match.com in the UK and got mixed results, one nice friend and one utter psycho who every date was “by the way I have a confession…” and another ensuing surprise.
Currently trying the Guardian newspapers dating (not much use in the U.S I guess but you never know) since at least they are “liberal” and more likely to have a few braincells. Checked out Geek To Geek because anyone who calls themselves a nerd/geek is already comfortable with being awkward and by some strange twist is more likely to be a nice person but that turned out to be more America and as much as I love the U.S I don’t see myself going back anytime soon.
So where was I…? Well apart from obviously declaring my undying love for you and asking you to come live with me…
I’ve found the best way to meet people is through interests rather than by just trying to date. So instead of picking a dating site how about choosing things your interested in and using social networking to make friends that way? End result is you’re more likely to make friends that may lead to other friends and in the end more likely to meet the right person who not only shares a few interests with you but also knows your other friends (from the interest) and can A) be vetted and B) share friends etc.
It’s not as if you’re lacking in personality, looks or a brain. So really it’s about getting out there and making friends first (old school pre-internet stuff! – but maybe using the internet) and then finding that stunning but slightly shy guy (or woman you never know the world leads you in strange ways) who a friend of a friend just “knows” you’re perfect for.
If you ever get desperate however…. I’m a great cook and very loyal ;)
Best of luck with your search and as a wise song once said “you can’t hurry love” (but you can rush love making and then it’s really crap).
I do OkCupid.com. And I have met exactly one normal person and five fucking weirdos. Am I allowed to say “fuck” on VerbICT?
At any rate, I’ve pretty much given up on online dating. The one normal person I met was too much like me for it to be any good.
Hope you do better. Maybe it’s easier if you’re hetero.
so how do I find you on this dating site? Sorry, I am a ginger though…
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