It sucks out there, job-wise. Take it from me. I spent the last couple months bouncing between the highs of following up on job prospects and the lows of doubting I’d ever see gainful employment again. Well, employment that didn’t involve, “Would you like fries with that?”

Although I’m working now, things would be a lot rougher had unemployment benefits not been available. There was some swallowing of pride and plenty of frustration, but those few weeks helped keep me afloat while I searched for a job. After all, that’s what it’s there for – to help you survive in the interim.

However, like most government-related operations, there’s tons of red tape to go through before you ever see a penny. It’s a pain-in-the-ass, but it sure beats selling plasma or turning tricks. So here’s a little guide for navigating your the unemployment process.

1. Check your eligibility. Assuming you have Internet access – and I am, since you are reading this – go to the Kansas Department of Labor’s website to make sure you’re eligible to receive benefits. Skim this. Because, ultimately, the Department of Labor decides whether or not you receive benefits. I gave myself a migraine trying to determine whether or not I qualified. Then I had a stiff drink, said “Screw it,” and went on to the next step.
2. Apply for unemployment. You can do this in your underwear on the KDOL website. You may want to keep your pants on, though. Breaking the no-pants habit once you do find a job can be kind of difficult. At any rate, the online application will ask you a bunch of questions about your situation – including reason for discharge and earnings. Answer these to the best of your ability, because you’re not even close to done yet.
3. Wait. Eventually, you will receive a letter stating that your unemployment application was received. In the mean time, look for a job. Or build a pillow fortress. Or macrame a unitard. Whatever you choose, make sure it’ll take you two to four weeks. When you get your letter, it’ll include a date for your unemployment interview and request that you submit a separation statement. Don’t miss the interview and don’t delay sending in your statement.
4. Participate in your unemployment interview. A representative from the Kansas Department of Labor will contact you on the assigned date to gather any additional information needed to determine your claim. The rep I spoke with was very kind and very rushed. Don’t waste their time and they won’t waste yours.
5. Wait. There’s kind of a pattern here, in case you didn’t notice. You’ll be waiting 5-10 pints of ice cream — err, days.
6. Receive your Unemployment Insurance Determination Letter. It’s here! It’s finally here! It’ll tell you if you qualify for benefits, how much you will receive and when you can start claiming your benefits. You receive benefits from the day you qualify not the day you’re no longer employed. If, for some reason, your claim is denied, you can file an appeal. Which, by the pattern established, means more waiting.
7. File your weekly claim. This isn’t automatic. You have to do it yourself. And you may be asked to provide proof that you’re actively looking for a new job while receiving benefits. So keep all your documents and emails together. To help your job search, the Kansas Department of Labor has set up KansasWorks.org.

Of course, if you like turning tricks and selling plasma, disregard this whole thing.

(image credit)

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